In our post 9/11 world, the word “patriotism” has become a hot button for politicians and the media-cracy. I don't want to get into that (yet). Instead, I would like to talk about the commonality afforded to us by our founding fathers and give an example of how it appears in the horror genre. As Americans we are given certain inalienable rights including, and sometimes indeed limited to, life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. Although these rights should unite us, the continual fight between political parties to define these rights has risen to a fever pitch as our 2012 election draws near. This spark of rivalry is downright explosive in my film review debut:
 |
| Living the American Dream, one shell at a time. |
Homeless 101:
It is important to start by giving a short introduction to the homeless. After all, it would be a great slip in social graces to confuse one with another, especially if one holds a shotgun. According to the modern Encyclopedia (i.e. Wikipedia), a “hobo” is actually a vagabond who works. Meanwhile, a “tramp” will only work when forced, and a “bum” is what smells a little damp on the bus.
 |
| "You've got it all wrong! I only work at gunpoint" |
The premise is simple. In fact, it's in the title. Grindhouse trailer turned feature film, Hobo With a Shotgun doesn't create any unnecessary expectations for itself. Director, co-writer, and creator Jason Eisenener dumps audiences along with his titular Hobo (portrayed by Rutger Hauer) in Scum Town, a place where the streets flow rusty with blood, children are victimized by Santa Claus, and, from what I can tell, everyone makes a living through disorganized crime. (Re: Scum Town) The ringleader and Capulet in this crimson city is The Drake (the cheerfully campy Brian Downey) whose two privileged sons run Richie Rich gone wrong escapades all over town. In a scene very early on, we're shown that our hobo longs for a lawnmower. Although early on this seems to rekindle memories of a former home, it's later revealed that he yearns for an honest day's work with an honest day's pay, differentiating him from the rest of the homeless. Aren't you glad we had that little lesson earlier? Eventually, upon witnessing a young prostitute named Abby (Molly Dunsworth) nearly become a victim of The Drake's den, the hobo's had it and takes vigilante action against crime. This doesn't bode well with The Drake's crooked leash on the city so he incites citizens to instead retaliate by committing even more violence. This time, against Scum Town's swollen homeless population.
Rutger Hauer's steely acting does a fair job of controlling the reigns from the film's open but there is only so much that can be done with Hobo's wishfully clever script. The laughs drawn from lines such as “I'm a fucking miracle worker! I'm gonna make it rain!” before dousing the street in a fire hydrant spray's worth of blood aren't sincere and create distance between viewer and story. Using enough saturated color to make a kaleidoscope hurl, Eisener paints in broad strokes and there is absolutely nothing subtle about this homeless romp. Red drenches scenes involving anything remotely Republican or conservative (such as our first introduction to The Drake's bordello), while our humble hobo broods liberally in blue hues (making a report at the police station). I have to admit, at first I was a little titillated to see a bit of cultural relevance among the carnage. This was soon depleted as I became bludgeoned by the cinematic equivalent of “Rich excess Capitalist bad. Poor uprising good.” Christian symbology also grows fervent as the film progresses and obstructs the hope of at least enjoying the film for face value: as a rabidly fun revenge splattergasm. Which, might I add, even the film admits to being in a later showdown between Hobo and The Drake's more Vanilla Ice-like son, Ivan (Nick Bateman). Not to mention that, despite this already unsatisfying interference, it also takes over 30 minutes for our protagonist to acquire his trademark weapon. That, my dears, is what we call false advertising.
 |
| Speaking of advertising, where can I find one of these for those cold, cardboard nights? |
The film especially loses it's stride as Eisener attempts to deepen the relationship between Abby and Hobo. Their entire interaction seems like a disparate effort to lighten the misogyny that blankets the entire film. The leading female is still a prostitute and, from the looks of her given circumstances, will always be a prostitute. Also, putting the two characters side by side can only create a semblance of a father-daughter relationship which doesn't pay off for the female-pointed violence. One line in particular stood out to me as the prime example of the hopelessness of being a woman in this particular world. During a later scene, a cop who has previously tried to employ Abby sits on duty with his young partner who seems to be the only innocent character in the entire film. The dirty cop lays it out plainly for the rookie: “You can't beat up your wife like you can beat up a whore. That's what I love about them.”
 |
| Fair. |
But even by enlisting the aid of the young girl and portraying Hobo's softness with her doesn't make her any more powerful or useful as a character, period.
Final Cut:
Like anyone who glazes over while watching the nightly news, Hobo audiences aren't given much of an impetus to care one way or another who wins. The entire 86 minutes of celluloid is spent impressing the moral that no matter what you do, people will die brutally at the hands of one another. Unfortunately, the high body count and enjoyably hokey methods of death used throughout the film set a precedent for enjoying massacres, leaving an apathetic glaze on audiences akin to the inactive empty eyed stare of citizens of Scum Town, whom, I would like to point out, are only inspired to action after being enticed by The Drake that anyone who brings him the head of the hobo gets all his “broads”. The story is left as empty as a shotgun shell while we're left more curious about how the spray blew some inarticulate bastard apart. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good laugh at the expense of fictional flesh as much as anyone else, but if you're looking for a story, the trailer just about covers it.
2.5 out of 5 Bloody Pearls
(Graphic Coming Soon!)
That's all for today kittens. Have you seen Hobo With a Shotgun? Leave a comment about your own experience.
Until next time,
AP
fuck yooooooooo
ReplyDelete